Impossibly possible

Today I am feeling
Rationally emotional
And emotionally rational
Like everything is
Impossibly possible
And nothing is possibly impossible
Or probably improbable
Like I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders
But I am held
Free falling
Falling towards freedom
Finding my voice
Landing on my feet


Lessons heeded

Energy gone
My body done
Yet I clean
Removing chocolate
For my babies safety
I weep as I
Roll this sugar down my tongue
Despite the disease it feeds
But I am grateful
For the lessons that I heed
Because my life is my responsibility
And in the face of this uncertainty
I can see my inner strength
And I know my story is far from done

Illness taught

Here is what I know
It is possible to express gratitude in the midst of depression
It is possible to find humor in the midst of panic
And laugh at that very absurdity
It is possible to be filled with joy in the midst of physical pain
It is possible to find stillness, calm in the midst of chaos
It is possible to see the beauty in it all
It is possible to choose to love and accept yourself and all that is
Human and raw and remarkably flawed
Even when you realizeĀ  you’ve briefly forgotten these possibilities

Leap of faith

Restless energy
Coursing through my veins
Flood of tears
Just beneath this wall of skin
Power diffused
Body blocked
Under siege
Mind fighting letting go
So I can be free
Strength suppressed
In this cage of
Muscle, sinew, fascia, bone
Seeking stillness of my core
Hoping to find answers
And the faith to step into the unknown

Level up

Sleep has yet to lift
Fear grips
Mind and body in a vice
Shaken awake
By this suffocating weight
Chest in chains
Wrapped tight
Try not to fight
As I sink like a stone
Into uncertain dark
Breathe in
Breathe out
Watch and detach
Have faith in the universe
In this path set
Remembering the signs and synchronicities
Let it wash over me
Feel it pass
Hold the vision
Get out of the way
Knowing these questions are bigger than me
Trust the answers lived
I will find
As I level up and emerge
On the other side


Born of shadows
In umbra lain
Larval state
Transformation underway
Chrysalis inverted
Lost in unknown
Blind to truth
What we’ll become
Out of darkness
Shines a light
Upon this leaf
Gratitude resides
You cacooned
Next to me
Emerging disoriented
And pumping blood
From heart to wing
Aligning with flow
To the universe’s delight
Butterflies become
All we now need
Is to take flight

The courage to be vulnerable

When all you’ve ever known of love is abuse
Intimacy twisted
Violence equated
Pain paralytic
Energy frozen
In fear that suffocates
Belief in love seems an impossibility
So now I watch in disbelief
As I find myself
Dropping my gaurd
Softening my hardened heart
Growing through scars
And each others arms
Letting go
Losing control
Falling towards home
Finding the courage to be vulnerable